W- x- V- Z- y

It is more difficult to make a correct and good decision rather than a decision. Where should i choose to study? What course should i opt? Years have passed. It is time to make up my mind. I am in a dilemma. It seems that there arent any perfect choice. If i plan to work in msia, i should give up my choice. Is it worthy? 90% of the people around me give a bizarre remark - i have a " doctor face". How is that possible? It is not my cup of tea. Gazing at the mirror,.........it is just a nonsense. The remarks are wavering my decision and they leave a negative impact in my thought. They form a strong barrier that contradict with my decision to further my studies in fields that are related to physics. Recently, i discovered that i love math. What are the reasons behind it? Is it because of its flexibility. Maybe it is true.I prefer number more than words. I had always dreamt to study in overseas. I am still dreaming about it. Although i failed for the first time, it did not matter. I am dreaming to study in University of Cambridge. It is a bold statement. Will the dream come true? I afraid that it ............. WHY??? Does that really make a different if i study in other universities? Well, i doubt about it? Fame? However, it is an invalid reason. God? It is a good and valid reason. Nevertheless, what are the reasons? Does God really need us to glorify him? Bear in mind that even though nobody glorifies God, He is still a God of majesty and awesome because He is a true and everliving God. There are no views that can change the nature of God. However, God gives us chance to glorify him and reflect His majesty. Thus, y dun i clutch this opportunity? Furthermore, God can use anyone to carry out His will. Even though i am not educated, i can still be His tool and glorify His name. The key is just a willing heart. God will empower and prepare His chosen people. We can find a lot of examples in the old and new testimony. For example, King David who used to be a shepherd, Peter, a hot-tempered disciple. However, since i am given a chance to have a good education, i should try my best. I am blessed with a lot of stuffs. For example, caring parents, nice college, food, accommodation, legs, arms, heart, brain....... There are no excuses for not carrying out my duty as a student faithfully. I wont lose anything even if i fail caz it is not the central of life.

John 3:16

For God so lo V ed the world,
That He g A ve
His on L y
Begott E n
So N
T hat whoever
Believe I n Him
Should N ot perish,
But have E verlasting life.



(Adapted from Looking For Love, RBC Ministries)

'Piece' of H&M

It has been a long time since i wrote down something in my blog. An unexpressed thought. What should i say.......Let it be.............Enthusiasm? Where does it go? Nor do i understand that my heart is imperfect perfectly. What is it? Dun compromise ever though i am compromising. Confusing. Of course, it ll since...................An unexplained stupidity. Without strength, the perfect moment, but it does not matter. It is late now. ........

BizarRe & messY

What is feeling? What is logic? What are all these about? Isn't it good to be logical thinking than feeling? O....... Sometimes really hate feeling. Feeling has caused a lot of problems. Logic. Logic. I like it very very very much. Having too much feeling will get into hot water when making decision. However, without feeling, it is insane. What has happening? I cant comprehend it. Bizarre. Cry of heart. But, what is the cure? Looking eagerly for the cure. Is this the unexpected grace that is meant to shape me? Yes. It can shape me definitely. But it seems so overwhelmed. Lord, i cant bear it. Logically, i sure Lord wont give me anything that is too huge to be handled. Lord ll lead me through the dark valley. I know. I know. But,.......yes. yes. I experience and learn something important. but,..............y.........forgive me for being unable to submit. Sometimes, i really think y it is me. Lord, look there....many Christians outside there. let them learn lah. Logically,..............i should be happy caz it symbolises Lord loves me very much. Yes, I am very sure about that. But....feeling again...haiz....i hate feeling.......nevertheless, some how?!!! i come to realise that feeling is also quite important. confused!!!!!!!!!express by words...............Lord,i dun know what i want....guide me......

.... _ _ _ .. M .. . . .

When the first opportunity comes, we cant take for it for granted and think that there will be another chance. We are incapable of controlling everything. Time and tide wait for no man. This also includes opportunity. Somehow, i realise something important when i am listening to music. I seldom music from the beginning to the end. Haha. Of course, there are reasons that encourage me to do so. When the opportunity materialised in front of me, i did not clutch it tightly. Therefore, this is the consequence. Not only this, there are many things in my life that are important. Yes, i must try my best to grab them so that i wont feel regret in the future. Furthermore, i also must learn to let go of them in order to grab better opportunities. SWEET!!

X+Y_Z% + Z Y X =????

Dilemma. Blur. I really cant figure out what God's will is. When I calm down myself to reflect, I cant understand God's will. Y?? After encountering with a few circumstances, I sometimes have a feeling of lost. God brings something into my life and when i want to grab it. It disappears. The answer is no, not this one. The answer is wait. Thinking about some circumstances, it seems very bizarre and stressful to me. Y?? It somehow becomes a constant cry from deep inside the heart. I dun get it. I cant understand. Even the love of Lord, I also dun understand. Y God so loves me? I cant figure out the reasons. From the day i born till now, the love and blessings of Lord is uncountable. I dun understand. I am just too blessed. I dun understand.

God's will = God's love

D!-|i__-K +E -/+ |) I S

Obligation will never bring happiness. But y there must be obligation. If there are not LAN subjects, i will study happier for the course. Haiz.......Really dun like the subjects. Those subjects are quite boring and furthermore time-consuming to study. Haiz.....heaved sighs of frustration, is there a need to study these subjects? Yes, there is a need. But it will be better if it only includes practical exam.HAHA. haiz......haiz...nevertheless, nothing can be done. I still need to study for these subjects. Yes, i ll like it sooner or latter. haiz............Absolutely, there are reasons for everything happens in my life. There are purposes. One of them is to increase my malleability. Be grateful. The sky turns from cloudy to colourful. Amazing. Wonderful.